I guess you could call Danielle my first girlfriend. It was the third grade, and when I think back on it, I’m ashamed of the entire experience. Our relationship basically boiled down to sexual harassment lite. I grabbed her ass a lot, and she didn’t mind. That was the extent of the relationship. Also, I let her use my jacket once when our class went to see the symphony. Now that I think about it, this was also the trip that she and I broke up. She was a pretty girl, with tight curly hair. She always wore a red bow in it. I remember that much. When we went to see the symphony, she peed herself and it was a real turn off. I didn’t stand up for her when the class started to make fun of her- I had no real sense of chivalry at 8 years old. Though, I can recall not taking my Members only jacket back until we returned to school. Maybe that small act amidst the chaos of 3rd grade ass holery is the small favor that will get me into heaven.
My Single Occupancy Experimental Orbital Shuttle (SOEOS) is called the True Companion. It’s large enough for me and the small garden that I tend to. I don’t have to do much, just record the findings of the space radiation on the radishes I grow. Still, I get to be in space. I love it out here.
I started to cough last week. I said I’d wait a week to see how it went, and it hasn’t gone away. The mucus that it coming up isn’t like the normal stuff I get when I have a cold. It’s a bit, I don’t know- Lumpy? Jagged? The doc back in Houston said that the next time I cough some up I should save it, and send it back with a urine sample and a blood sample by teleport. I have to take a blood sample everyday, but I’ll have to take two when I send the sample to Houston…
I dreamt about Lisa today. She was sexy and Jewish and I quickly let my lust for her mutate into obsession- maybe it was love. They can be so interchangeable. I dreamt about the Chinese buffet we’d met at. She was a solid girl- voluptuous and solid. Sometimes you have to sacrifice the ass for the chest or vice verse. I prefer a nice ass over a large chest, if I’m going to have to pick. A girl with a big chest and no ass isn’t as aesthetically pleasing as the other way around.
Lisa had both, but she also had no use for me. I was just an amusing sideshow clown to her. She got high from the fumes of my longing.
In the dream, we ate soup.
Houston asked for another blood sample today. They said that the last had some impurities that they couldn’t identify. I jokingly asked them if I’d developed some crazy space virus. They assured me that I had not. They assured me to the point that I don’t know if they got that I was joking, and I don’t know if they were telling me the truth.
It’s New Years Eve!
I can’t believe I slept through New Year’s Day. I don’t know what came over me. When I got up this morning, I felt like shit. I had a dry mouth and a crazy headache. Houston said that they’d been trying to get I contact with me for hours.
I was just tired, I guess.
Tameka and I hid on the back stairs of my house. we were as quiet as we could be. Neither of us wanted to be “IT”. She was just above me on the stairs, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of those fat legs of hers. She was wearing orange shorts- I still remember- and she waited there as quietly as she could, trying to catch her breath. Me, I was transfixed by her bare, sweaty, hairless legs. I wanted so badly to reach out and touch them, but I knew it wouldn’t end well if I did. So we waited, quietly, as the other kids ran for cover in the front yard and across the street.
Houston told me to get into a space suit and power down all of the ships air and water recycling modules. They say that after 24 hours, I am to reset the modules but I have to remain in the suit. They say that they’re sending a vaccine up and that I am to use it for two weeks. They don’t want me to teleport any more blood down- I am to test it myself. They tell me not to worry. I don’t. I’m sure it’ll all turn out fine.
It is very easy to get songs stuck in your head up here. What’s even worse is when you get a fragment of a song stuck in your head and can’t recall what song it’s from. It is torture. I listened to ever song on my MP3 player- 3 weeks worth- and I still couldn’t figure out the song. Maybe…possibly… the theme from Terms of Endearment?
I lost a finger today. I lost a finger, and it didn’t bleed. It just rotted off. It’s rattling around somewhere in the bottom of the suit.
Haven’t heard from Houston in days.
The report said that the virus infected the entire lab, then all of Houston, then- it got out. They weren’t able to cure it, only burn the people that contracted it. They were able to stop it before it became airborne. That’s good. They say that I’m patient zero. They’d like to study me, but it would be too dangerous, they say. It seems like I’ll be remembered more for this virus than for the work I’ve done. Fuck.
I didn’t loose my virginity until I was 27. I found myself fumbling around with my 62 year old lab partner after a particularly randy Christmas party in our science department. It just happened. I wanted to brag about it but she was, you know, 62.
Still, for a 62 year old horticulturist, she rocked my junk pretty hard…
More parts rotting off today. I don’t think this is supposed to happen.
I don’t know how, but Lisa is here on the SOEOS. She’s naked, and she keeps trying to kiss me. I tell her that I can’t take the suit off, but she keeps trying anyway.
I’ve wanted this for so long, though. Maybe I’ll take the suit of- just for a little bit. The vaccine didn’t work anyway. Maybe I’ll take the suit off…
I’m think Houston is going to leave me up here.
Lisa had the idea- start teleporting pieces of myself down to Houston! I don’t know what it’ll accomplish, but it seems hilarious to me. A few fingers, my junk, my left eye- priceless. It’s all falling off anyway. What am I going to do with it!?
If they won’t come to me, I’ll go to them- piece by infected piece.
Every night, when Naked Lisa disappears I begin to think that she wasn’t really here. She never moves her mouth when she talks. I’m afraid to ask her about it. If I’m right, she may not come back.
I try to use my mind to steer the shuttle towards earth. It makes complete sense that whatever this is I’ve contracted has given me the psychic ability to use telekinesis. Why wouldn’t it?
I want to crash the mother right into a middle school. I’m going to die up here.
The radishes have really flourished in this environment. The experiment is a success. I try to tell Houston, but no one answers.
There’s nothing but static now.