Thursday, January 8, 2009

Teen Vampires must DIE!

So, here is part one to my teen vampire saga. I don't know how long it will be, but I have some good ideas!
read Jeffrey L. for an intro to my idea on vampires...

Part One: Black Hole Sun

Jeffrey looked down at the mess on the floor. It was brown and lumpy but smelled sweet and delicious. It didn’t run at all, it just sat there in the center of the aisle waiting for him to take care of it.
He didn’t give serious consideration to it, but he did think about the prospect of kneeling there and licking it directly off of the floor.
He dipped the mop into the bucket, then attacked the mess with as much dedication and enthusiasm as he could muster- which wasn’t much but more than one would expect.
“Apple butter.” He heard someone say. It was Lance.
Jeffrey didn’t stop or turn; he only barely managed to mutter “Yup.” Without sounding like he was slowly dying or going to vomit.
Jeffrey had found it harder and harder to muster up what he called the “small talk lie” voice that allowed him to hide his disdain for polite conversation about nothing.
“The apple smell- it’s all mixed in with the Pine Sol…” Lance began, and then trailed off. He leaned against the jellies on the shelf, and looked down the aisle.
It was late, but The Target was a 24 hour deal so even now, at 2:45 A.M. there were people about.
Jeffrey dipped the mop into the bucket, wringed out the butter, and continued to mop.
“You know” lance began, and then stopped.
“What?” Jeffrey asked.
“Nothing. Lance answered. “I was hoping that I’d have something to say. I didn’t”
The men sighed in unison.
“We need to get out of here.” Jeffrey said, wringing out the mop.
“And go where?” Lance asked. “We still got three hours left on the clock.
“I mean, for good. Get out of the Target get out of the Deep South. Get out of this dead end life. We’re better than this!” Jeffery said, and leaned next to Lance. “I mean we are, right?”
“I guess- I don’t know.” Lance said.
“I am 72 years old, I only look twenty five, and I’ve spent 20 years working third shift in retail. When did this happen? Why did this happen”
Lance didn’t say anything. He shook his head, but his head shake seemed to say “Of course you’re right, but I don’t understand why you’re upset and I don’t have an answer for you.”
“Right.” Jeffrey answered to the head shake that he took to mean “Yeah? And?”
“I’m just saying, why mess up a good thing?” Lance added.
“I’m done with it, man. It’s cool.” Jeffrey snapped.
“Why are you snapping at me?” Lance asked.
“I’m not…” Jeffrey answered, taking the time to try and make his voice sound vaguely friendly. “I just miss the sun, that’s all.”
“Yeah.” Lance said knowingly.
He looked past Jeffrey, to the end of the aisle, just in time to see her walk by.
“We’re being cruised.” He said.
Jeffrey sighed again. “Not tonight.” He said, shaking his head.
“Yup” Lance offered. “She’s been past three times since we started talking.”
“I told you this would happen. Every time there is a movie or book that romanticizes us, they teen girls come out of the woodwork.” Lance said, cupping his hand over his mouth and nose to check his breath. “How do I look?”
“Truthfully?” Jeffrey asked.
“No.” Lance answered.
“You look great” Jeffrey finally conceded.
The girl started past the aisle again, but quickly turned and made her way towards the two men.
She tried to be nonchalant, but it was made difficult by the fact that the two men never took their eyes from her.
“Hey” the girl said when she was finally close enough.
“Hey yourself” lance responded. Jeffrey only slightly nodded.”
“So, are you guys the real deal?” She asked.
“Be more specific.” Lance returned coyly.
“Like- Nightwalkers?” She asked, and started to smile.
Jeffrey rolled his eyes but Lance answered her. “Yeah. What gave us away?”
“I just knew” She started. “I’m really into you guys.”
This time, Jeffrey rolled his eyes hard enough to give himself a headache. “No you’re not.” He said.
“I am!” she started. “I’ve read books…”
“Stop.” Jeffrey said, almost whining.
“Come on, man!” Lance said, shooting Jeffrey a “Don’t cock block me on this” look. “She’s just curious.”
“Yeah, I’m curious.” She said, trying too hard to exude sex appeal.
“How old are you?” Jeffrey asked, walking over to the mop bucket.
She tugged down on the pleats of her vinyl mini skirt, and bit her lower lip as she answered. “I’m old enough.”
“Alright, fair enough. You like us? The world we inhabit?”
“Yeah.” She implied.
“What do you know about us?” Jeffrey asked, beginning to mop again.
“You’re noble and beautiful,” she began. At this point, lance was visibly on the verge of laughter.
“You’re dark, but you try to live a good life. Right? You only hunt animals because you don’t want to hurt anyone…”
“Wow.” Lance finally chuckled.
“And, you live forever. I want to be like you” She added, smiling so innocently that Jeffrey almost gave pause.
“I’m going to do you a favor,” Jeffrey began
“I’m going to tell you exactly what we’re about and then give you the opportunity to walk away. Okay?”
She nodded.
“I’m not noble. I’m not beautiful. I’m an animal, a fucking creature of the night. I’m basically a cranky old man, with the added bonus of always- ALWAYS being hungry!” Jeffrey growled calmly.
Lance nodded.
“My friend here? Same deal. And you know what else? I have insomnia. I’m a creature of the night that can’t get to sleep!” Jeffrey continued.
“I don’t brood because I’m tortured and complicated, I brood because I’m in a rut and I want to go to sleep and have a decent bowel movement that doesn’t smell like I just had surgery!”
“And we work at Target!” Lance added.
“Thank you.” Jeffrey responded.
The girl listened, but he could tell from her face that she didn’t get it.
“I can tell from your face that you still don’t get it.” Jeffrey said.
“You want the ugly truth? If I wasn’t talking to you now, my friend lance here would have already talked you into the alley where he’d bang you against a dumpster then ripped your throat out. And they’d never find you. They would never find you.” Jeffrey finished, staring at thee girl.
All the curiosity had drained from her face and was replaced by fear. She was on the verge of tears.
Jeffrey didn’t think that he’d gone too far, but that maybe he’d punctuated the throat ripping point too harshly.
“Okay, look-” He began, but Lance interrupted
“Okay, it’s alright. It’s not that bad. Not really…” Lance said, and put his arm around the girls shoulder.
“Listen, I know how you feel.” He continued. “Forget about that mean guy. He’s just a- a mean guy” Lance said as he lead her away from the condiment aisle to her certain banging and death in the alleyway behind the Target at 3:20 A.M.
Jeffrey continued to mop. The floor was clean now, but it was better than having to clean the restrooms- which he’d eventually have to do anyway…

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