Part 2: Fifty-Two
(Wherein things get sticky)
You have to be careful behind bars, because anything can be used as a weapon. This is especially true when you’re talking about this particular prison.
In Henning State Maximum Security Prison, you are always in danger of being seriously injured or killed by the most mundane of objects.
We aren’t talking the typical shiv made from a sharpened spoon or mattress spring. We’re talking things like bottles caps propelled at top speed through the memory center of the brain, or being choked to death by magic beans.
This is why the prison was always surrounded by a heavy duty of electro magnetic field. It detected any magical implements that could be smuggled in, and detected any magicians that might be smuggled out.
If you were going to be using a weapon in Henning state, you had to be very, very creative.
In a place where the definition of contraband includes almost everything, knowing a man like Dexter Pepper was important. Dexter and his little wooden friend Bookie could bet almost anything into the jail. The secret was in knowing what guard to approach, and how long to keep him on the take. At one point, Dexter had almost ever guard at the Penn smuggling in product for him. Now, there was a different problem. The Log Cabin Republicans had stepped in and were trying to oust the Ventriloquist from his place as go to guy. As much as he hated it, he had to make ice with them in order to get a very special product from outside- the one thing that would tip the scales and get their crew out of the Penn.
For the last week, Uncanny Alfie had been holed up in protective custody. The guards had noticed that he’d stopped shaking as much. He’d stopped sweating. He didn’t yell at all hours of the night any more. All he did in his small cell was stare quietly at the wall, and then at his hands.
The guards noticed that his hands were incredibly steady. It was uncanny.
Zep and the other clowns had been pumping iron even more than usual. They were like animals. They worked out any chance they could get, and when they weren’t working out, they were beating the crap out of each other. They were toughening up for something…
Meanwhile, Tex was in a difficult spot because a major war was brewing between the Cowboys and the Log Cabin Republicans. Big Tex had sat down with the LCR leaders: Mitchell “Lil’ Bit” Johnson, Carlton “Aunt Mame” Fontaine, and Blaine “Bareback” Kennedy to try and work things out.
It didn’t seem to go so well.
Tex figured that he’d go to talk them on his own. He had to. If his plan to break out of here was going to work, then there could be no weak links. He had to get out of this place and find out who had set him and his Pa up on that bank job.
He had to know who was behind the death of his horse.
It was a Saturday morning when the truck arrived. Tex had made a deal with the LCR, which he was sure that they would keep, even though he knew they could never really be trusted.
Dexter approached the driver while the guards were preoccupied, and let Bookie do the talking. Soon he had his package.
The next step was to get inside to see Alfie. This would be difficult. They’d managed to get the occasional message to him, because Dexter was in charge of the Book cart that took things to read to the various prisoners in various parts of the prison. But the package that Dexter had today was the most dangerous of contraband, especially in the hands of a magician- especially Alfie.
Dexter placed small package into a copy of the Joy of Cooking and headed for Protective custody.
Meanwhile, Tex made sure that everything was in place. The clowns were pumped and ready. The cowboys were angry about working with the LCR, but they maintained. Dexter was almost in position, and Alfie was in the zone.
The Mimes- well, the mimes knew their job.
Int. Protective custody Day
Dexter and Bookie pushed the cart towards the entrance of the protective cells.
The guard stopped them.
GUARD: Its library time again already?
BOOKIE: Looks that way. How’re the wife and kids?
GUARD: Pretty good, thanks for asking.
The guard stood and unlocked the door, and Dexter pushed the cart toward the last cell, where Alfie sat quietly.
ALFIE: Got anything good?
DEXTER: Yeah. I think you’ll like it.
BOOKIE: Especially page 52…
Dexter handed Alfie the book and turned to leave.
Alfie took a deep breath, gave his hands a last once over, and opened the book.
The guard was sitting at his desk, quietly flipping through the pages of Good Housekeeping when he heard Alfie yelling for him.
GUARD: What is it now!?
He stood, and walked towards Alfies cell.
When he got to the cell, he thought he heard a whisper. He thought he heard a whisper and felt something bite him on the neck.
What he’d heard was the 3 of spades slicing through the air from Alfies cell.
What he’d felt was that same playing card slicing his carotid artery into.
What he saw was his life flashing before his eyes- a life tinted red by the blood that sprayed through the air before him.
ALFIE: I’m sorry, guy. I don’t think it’ll hurt too much. Just go to sleep. Go to sleep.
Alfie had hit the Guard just where he needed to, causing him to fall forward so he could reach the keys.
Alfie let himself from his cell and started for the yard.
By the time the guards realized what was going on, it was too late. Alfie entered the yard, and was surrounded by Clowns- guarding him as he launched hand after hand of razor sharp death at the tower guards.
Some clowns took hits as well as a few guards managed to squeeze off a few shots.
They managed to keep Alfie from being hit, though, and soon they got what they wanted when the final tower guard tumbled from his perch- a gun.
The alarms sounded, but it was almost already too late.
The Cowboys and the LCR stormed the armory and armed themselves.
There wouldn’t have been a problem if the guards had just let them all walk, but a kid with an itchy trigger finger took the shot that killed big Tex.
Someone, probably a clown, yelled “Kill em’ all!”, and things got rough.
The clowns didn’t even have guns; they just charged towards the guards and bit them.
It wasn’t long before the Log Cabin Republicans and the Cowboys turned their guns on each other!
The bangers and the white power boys didn’t have a prayer. Between the rabid clowns and the bukkake of bullets the Cowboys and LCR were laying down, anyone in the crossfire was a goner.
It didn’t take long for the rapid response team to arrive and take action.
There were prison riots and there were prison riots, and there were riots at Henning state. Riots at Henning state were handled in one way and one way only: burn anything and anyone taking part.
The rapid response team swooped in and began to burn anything that moved. Guards, Aryans, Clowns, Republicans- they all burned in the yard.
There was chaos- complete, flaming chaos- Just as Tex had planned it.
Tex, Alfie, Dexter Pepper and Bookie, and Zep slipped out before the riot had gotten out of hand. Under the blanket of burning inmates, they managed to walk away.
And that was it- Tex was finally out.
There were no tearful goodbyes, no celebration. They just went there separate ways.
They all had things to do, scores to settle, rights to wrong and vice verse.
…Even the mimes.
THE END FOR NOW.